Emotional manipulation can come in all shapes and forms, varying from person to person.
According to Dr. Lukin, the definition of emotional (or psychological) manipulation is a “form of psychological abuse where a person uses deceptive, coercive, or underhanded tactics to influence, control, or exploit another person’s emotions and behaviors.”
Guilt-tripping is a common method of manipulation for someone to get their way.
According to TalentSmart EQ, “[e]motional manipulators are masters at leveraging your guilt to their advantage. If you bring up something that’s bothering you, they make you feel guilty for mentioning it. If you don’t, they make you feel guilty for keeping it to yourself and stewing on it..”
That means that people have to actually learn how to cope with or navigate relationships with people who are manipulative.
Of course, one of the natural questions that arises centers around the reasons why people feel the need to be manipulative.
According to EBSCO, “[m]anipulators often suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Those who are afflicted with this disorder have an exaggerated perception of their self-importance. They feel a strong need to have someone loyal to them who will adore and admire them while dutifully complying with their orders and whims. Although narcissists brag at length and seem pretentious to those in their company, they are afflicted with low self-esteem.”
Though mental illnesses are not the sufferer’s fault, the impacts remain predictably the same.
Victims of emotional manipulation could reveal themselves by their own behavior: someone fears upsetting the person, over-apologizes for everything (including things that are not their fault), and feeling as though they are the ‘bad guy’ anytime they are talking to or are around the person manipulating them.
Long-lasting effects that can arise from being manipulated can be the victim feeling intense anxiety, having harsh self-doubt, reduced self-esteem, feelings of guilt, and even a loss of identity.
Though people may recognize that they are being manipulated, it’s often difficult to make it stop.
Victims of emotional manipulation may not speak up because they tend to be in disadvantaged positions, either due to their personal mental state or the nature of their relationship with the manipulator.
EBSCO reports that “[v]ictims, who may struggle with low self-esteem or a desire to please, can experience significant emotional difficulties, including anxiety, depression, and challenges in trusting others. The prolonged nature of such manipulation can lead to a distorted perception of reality for the victim, sometimes resulting in phenomena like Stockholm syndrome, where victims bond with their abuser.”
When victims of emotional manipulation get help they may be instructed through acknowledging what happened, setting boundaries, and building a support system.
It’s important to understand how to identify signs of emotional manipulation, and if someone suspects they may be a victim of emotional manipulation, professional help is the way to go. Resources are always out there, and victims deserve to re-build their peace of mind.
