Parenting is extremely complex when you really think about it. There is more than just good and bad parenting. There are many different styles of parenting that are influenced by various factors within people’s lives.
“So, it’s more complicated than [that]. The same parent will have different effects on different children, even though they came from the same place, and different children within the same household will get different kinds of parenting because of the nature of the child, or because of the nature of the parents,” said psychology teacher Fred Holtz.
Wanting to verify this belief, psychologists did research and organized the styles of parenting into different categories based on their results.
The first type is authoritarian.
“This rigid parenting style uses stern discipline, often justified as “tough love.” In an attempt to be in full control, authoritarian parents often talk to their children without wanting input or feedback,” said licensed psychologist, Dr Francyne Zeltzer.
These kinds of parents implement harsh disciplinary actions, are not engaged with the child’s social life, and are unaffectionate.
Children who experience this type of parenting can end up being good at following rules because of the strict consequences they were faced with. But they can also struggle with anger issues, low self-esteem, and may rebel more against their parents when they are older.
On the other hand, there are also permissive parents.
“Permissive parents are typically warm and nurturing, but often hold minimal expectations for their children. They impose few rules and maintain open communication,”
Though it sounds great, many permissive parents prioritize being their child’s friend over being their parent figure. These kinds of parents don’t expect much from their children, but they are still involved in their social life and communicate with them.
Children with permissive parents usually struggle with regulating their lifestyles and their emotions.
The third type are neglectful parents who, according to Psychology Today, “take on a limited parenting role. They may not spend as much time as other parents in conversation, play, or other activities, and may not bother to set many house rules.”
Children with uninvolved or neglectful parents are often viewed as more independent, and resilient to things. However, it can also cause them to struggle with emotional regulation, as well as their relationships in school in their social lives.
Of course, not all of the parenting styles are as controversial as the first three. And there are other parenting styles that have more positive impacts on children as well.
“Authoritative parenting is characterized by a close, nurturing relationship between parents and children. Parents set clear expectations and guidelines and explain the reasoning behind their disciplinary actions,” said the National Library of Medicine.
Authoritative parenting is viewed as the most ideal parenting style because of its balance between reasonable discipline and clear expectations. When a child misbehaves there are consequences, but the parent uses clear communication and explains the consequences to the child.
Children that have authoritative parents are often confident, responsible and self-regulated.
In the end, parenting styles and choices – whether they use the metaphorical carrot or stick – impact children and the adults that they grow up to be.
According to the American Psychological Association, “[c]hildren who received more affectionate parenting by their mothers up to age 10 were more open to experiences, conscientious, and agreeable at age 18.”