How to: get over a break up

How+to%3A+get+over+a+break+up

Grant Mellen

Junior Tristan "Tristy" Retzlaff is reduced to tears as senior Steven Greinke poses a break up.

By Brett Higgins, Copy Editor

Once you snag your significant other, it’s always a thrilling ride figuring out who they really are; always looking out for them, thinking of them in everything you see, staying up until 3 a.m. talking on the phone with them (and until 4 a.m. saying goodbye). So now you’ve got the girl/boy of your dreams and you’re both floating in the world of love. But once relationships have reached their high point, it starts rolling downhill.

Breaking up always hurts. Sometimes it’s inevitable, but it always feels as though your heart is tearing apart. The worst part is withdrawal; they are your drug that you never knew you were addicted to until they stopped calling, stopped showing up. You feel as though it’s a horrible nightmare and you desperately hope someone will wake you up, but there is no getting out.

“It takes time,” said senior Vivian Li. “There are multiple ways to get over someone; vent, go out to get things out of your mind and meet new people, occupy your mind with something else.”

Easier said than done. The world seems a little gloomier; the sun has faded, the tears won’t stop falling and every darn song on the radio reminds you of your ex. It’s even harder to get over someone when you think of them on a 24/7 basis and eventually you’ll be trying your hardest to stop thinking about them.

“There is no real solution to stop thinking about them,” said senior Edward “Eddie” Tea. “All you can do is move on slowly, enjoy everything you do, just have fun.”

Although time is really the only thing that can heal, here are some options to help speed it along:

  • Write a story about the highlights and lows of your ex from start to finish and then writing the words “The End” at the end of your story to, in a sense, close that chapter of your life so you may start a new one.
  • Remember all the bad things about your ex. It will help you stop wanting them in your life so you can find someone who is better out there.
  • Don’t beat yourself up over the breakup. Many times nothing can stop them from coming and it is never your fault.

So call a few friends and crack open a few tubs of Ben & Jerry’s and sappy movies if that’s what will help. Don’t hide under your blankets forever, it’s unhealthy and doesn’t distract your mind from your ex at all. It is a good thing to think about the other person, to analyze the events that led up to the breakup and find the subliminal hints of the breakup that you can now see when you are no longer blinded by love. But don’t obsess about your ex, and do not consider revenge; it’s a childish way to get back at someone you once truly cared about.

Never ever find a girl/guy to rebound with in hopes of making your ex jealous. It’s a very self-centered move and always makes you look bad and desperate. Also, keep in mind that there are millions upon millions of other girls/guys out in the world, plenty of them will be better suited for you and plenty will want you for you. Just because you fell in a rut with one person it doesn’t mean it will happen every time. Never stop yourself from moving on and always realize that there is something to learn with every relationship you get into. Use these life lessons to make yourself a better person.

After you’ve finished thinking things through about the relationship, gradually move on. You can find the remains of your ragged heart and piece them back together again. Although it will never fully be whole again, it will be stronger and less naïve when the next girl/boy comes along to sweep you off your feet.